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It's your time to shine. Your current approach avoiding all Thais is a bit extreme; however, it is a good habit to avoid all Thais who indicate a financial need from the get-go. As you mention, they will not always advertise themselves blatantly as 'for sale', but you will are in the process of learning the signs. Most of those who target farangs will be on the game; not all work through bars. It will take you time to learn, but don't let a few bad experiences put you off. There are plenty of non-commercial Thai gays who are rewarding to know.

A few months still means you are new in town.

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You'll learn with time to tell the difference. Of course, it also depends on where you go. I have many Thai gay friends, and they are not in the game. One idea is to hook up with farangs who have been here for a while, and let them and their Thai friends show you around. By the way, this is not gay specific, straight people have the same problem telling the difference between girls with financial vs real interests. A few English guys who I know only go with guys of certain ages, as they go on about the younger ones fleecing them.

Maybe try that angle. If you're really looking for someone who's probably relatively mature and well-employed, hit a trendy entertainment area- a pub or a nightclub or restaurant where it's all groups of Thais who are buying more expensive drinks possibly wine or imported spirits and then look around with gaydar on and social skills deployed. In this case, it would be better to go to places that were not specifically 'gay' bars, which typically go for volume rather than high margins.

As IJWT said. Gays mix with straight people, I think the invention of "gay bars" and "gay discotheques" and "gay restaurants" is an import from the West. Thai society is much more separated along social classes than sexual orientation. That said, there are gay bars catering Thai people, as least in Bangkok, and the farang is the odd guy out.


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I recommend going there with Thai friends though, as people do come in groups. I will assume that most people there are not into money, and you will have to be good-looking if you want to meet someone! One word for Thai Young men.. Dont be scared by their threats they are often lowlife and deserve nothing , If they want to go to the police let them try, they wouldnt dare. Only thing to be sure of is their age , If in any doubt check their ID card and make sure they are at least Your OP was a legitimate question, your last post a judgement.

Since you have been here for only a few months, this sounds like the second phase of culture shock to me. Google for the four phases of culture shock. Once you get the hang of the country in a few months all will look better. The first year is always the most difficult.


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  7. On the other hand, one could ask what your agenda is. Are you here on holiday, for work, retired or drawn generally to Thai guys? Making a major, possibly not applicable generalization, most farang in Thailand are fairly well off and most younger Thais who they stand much chance of meeting in casual situations are decidedly poor.

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    If you are fairly young, good looking beauty being in the eye of the potenital beholders , and in venues that cater to middle-class, upper-class Thais, then the opportunity to meet someone not looking for your money improves. If you aren't particularly attractive, but expect to have sex for free with some stunning Thai guy, how likely is that?

    You and whoever you meet have to bring something comparable to the table or wherever. Otherwise you'll need to balance the equation with cash. Probably the "rules" are the same in your home country, which brings us back to the original question Dont be scared by their threats they are often lowlife and deserve nothing ,. Seems to me OP is bitter because he's going through a fairly early eye opening about the 'touristy' scene here. There's a lot not to like about it. However, OP, it gets back to this: They're not going to change for you.

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    Several people on this thread have made some good recommendations about how you might try changing your choices, and the ball's in your court about whether you'll work on that or not. Maybe, like many of us, you used to be a tourist- and maybe at that time you were even younger then, and without realising it your options here and everywhere were a bit better, because you were younger and more interesting to the group you are seeking here. Maybe when you were a tourist and the money you had with you seemed like 'cheap' money, cutting a few corners by spending liberally on the party scene and attracting parasitic types didn't seem to be as threatening to you.

    I've seen these effects and the reactions to moving here change a number of people. I was adrift myself for awhile here after I had figured out how to see past the tourist scene, but it helped me get to a better place. I will tell you this, though: I'm not saying you're going to get people decades younger than you, or that if you're physically in bad condition or have other 'issues' that it doesn't matter- but you will have to take responsibility for deciding what you have to offer and what you can reasonably expect in return for that and I'm not talking about money specifically here, but far too many foreigners prefer to remain in delusion about themselves by substituting it.

    But that's reality- isn't it? That's what you would have to deal with no matter where you are.


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    Did you think somehow Thaliand wasn't a real place? Some people don't want it to be, and that's why they try to keep themselves in an unreal bubble here of some type or another. I would caution you that there are many desperate people out there, and if you are threatened it is something to take seriously- and primarily as a reason to consider changing your practices. Thailand presents some terrific opportunities to enjoy the company of other very attractive men.

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